Global Domination | Witnessed | Killswitch Engage, Bled, SSS, 2007-10-03

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Witnessed

Killswitch Engage, Bled, SSS, 2007-10-03

06/11/07 || Global Domination

This review was written by ex-staffer/cocksmoker MaxVonLaibach.

Venue: Carling Academy, Brixton
Where: London
When: October 3rd, 2007
Country: England

Note by author: I have never heard any of these bands before. I’ve got Lux Occulta to listen to, you see…

This has been quite an extraordinary concert for me. I learned about it some 4 hours before it began. I went there mostly because of SSS, as they seem to be an important part of the thrash resurrection movement (at least in GB) and I wanted to compare them to the Hatesphere concert in Warsaw last month (I know this shit ain’t grammatically correct, fuck you!). I got a discount ticket from some random guy on a bus, which I hoped would take me to that club I’ve never been to…

Seeing the crowd gathering in front of the doors nearly tore my Polish soul to pieces. In our country, you get kids in Vader or Behemoth t-shirts on every gig you go to. Here, all is Shadows Fall and My Chemical Romance, and such, as far as the eye could see. That was a bad sign. Another one was the scenery, Romeo and Juliette style white renaissance sort of building with a stage in the middle of it. With anxiety, I awaited the beginning of the show…

…
… that’s called suspense, by the way…
…
… more suspense…

1: SSS is quite a creative name for a band that plays rather simple oldschool thrash with bad clean vocals (it ain’t no Kanton dePena, but it still sucks). The set lasted about 30 minutes (that translates into some 15 songs) and offered good material for happy headbanging to all 5 of us gathered below the stage. Overall their act was thrashy and energetic, though nothing original, and there’s no chance in hell these guys will ever beat Hatesphere. They also did a CD cover depicting Cliff Burton with their logo on his forhead. Is that cool? Don’t think so.

7 pounds well spent out of 10 (it was 15, actually).

2: I could’ve gone home right after SSS… After all, it was predictable. The next band is called Bled (that is enough to get them sodomized by Optimus Prime already), they’re from the US and all their t-shirts in the merchandise section are white. But of pure damn curiosity I stayed for the first tune. FUCK! These guys sort of can play, but are totally uninspired. Fucking standard, boring, painful metalcore. And when the band actually finds a good riff – the drummer is there to fuck it up with totally unmatching beats. I might’ve given them 2 points just for the fun of standing there and laughing, but I won’t. Score: 0! Oh, and the guitar player had a gleaming red guitar on a yellow flashy belt. I bet he’ll get assfisted by Megatron for this.

At this point I should add that a beer in this place cost 3 pounds 50 p. (which translates into around 5 euro, 20 zł, 40 Kuna, 220 of that funny money Czech people use, 1000SIT or 7 USD). This means I was totally sober while listening to all the concerts. Just so you know.

3: Killswitch was up next and the atmosphere became hot. Finally, the crowd started showing some moshing ability and my right boot fell apart as I gladly joined in. In case you don’t know KE, let me briefly introduce you to the band:

Some guy: bass.
Some bald black guy with huge tits: vocals.
Some guy dressed in a Dracula cape and boxer shorts: guitar. (apparently this was his great comeback to the band, so he got hold of the mike somewhere between songs, said something about pussies and everybody started laughing…)
Some guy who looks like a crossover between Kerry King and the guys of ZZ Top: drums.
Some guy who’s been hanging out too much with Korpiklaani: the other guitar.

That was truly a sight to behold, I thought you only got people like that on gayfests and RPG camps… But the music was actually not bad. It was heavy, low and groovy. During the faster parts the singer displayed a pretty good growl. However, his clean vocal just didn’t work for me, and their songs had a tendency to fall into these melodic breakdowns I hate so much. They ended the set with “Holy Diver” and the singer turned into a decent impersonation of R.J. Dio at that point. Overall, not a bad show. I wonder if that was due to the audience going crazy as if Jessica Alba was stripping on stage, or to the musicians themselves. Either way, it’s a 6/10.

It’s difficult to give an overall mark to a concert, but counting the bruises the following morning I came to the conclusion that it deserves a 6 outta 10

Ending note: This review may contain some grammatical or ortografekal errors, not to mention opinions you disagree with. If you find any, report it to www.gaytimes.com, because I really don’t give a fuck.

Witnessed